*** WARNING *** This can be a tough subject to talk about for some people. I want the reader to know up front that I am not in anyway trying to open old or fresh wounds you may have. I can only share from my heart to yours about my experience and thoughts in my attempt to encourage and minister to you.
My Experience
When I lost everything in my life (November 7th of 2011), I literally thought I was going to die. I felt my life was over and there was no hope for me to find health, love, or happiness. I was a man that was broken and shattered - a pitiful excuse of a man. Everything I once held near and dear was gone. I remember the depression and burnout I went through emotionally and mentally. Roughly a month went by before I ever came out of my basement apartment. I didn’t start my car up. I never saw the sun rise or set. Heck, I was in a “waste place” of life. I felt alone, miserable, and I felt like a failure as a husband, foster dad, minister, friend, etc.
While I was broken, scarred and not knowing what to do with myself in this pitiful life, I began to read my Bible and pray. John 5:2-9 became very pivotal for me. One evening, after reading it and answering Jesus’ question in verse 6 “...do you want to be made well?” I had a life transforming, scars healing encounter with God. He made me whole and set me free from depression, pain, and the feeling of hopelessness. I felt like I had hope again. I was seeing clearly for the first time in a long time. I was no longer confused, nor did I have the feeling of dread or hurt concerning my ex and the previous life situations.
I would love to tell you that “poof” all my SCARS were magically or divinely healed and I never cried again over the loss of my previous life, my family that I cared for, or the woman that I fell in love with in college, but that would be a lie. I did cry. I cried a lot through many tears and lonely nights, but at the SAME TIME I was already healed. And that healing was being made manifest emotionally and mentally by God, even through the tears. Sure, my ex did have a moral failure. Yes, I was burned out with ministry, being a foster dad to small kids, being unemployed from a secular job, and I was super morbidly obese. I was also extremely unhealthy, but I was healed. YES! God was taking me through an accelerated “scars healing process.” As my friend Ken Andrews said, my outside was catching up with my insides. In other words all the healing, changing, and transforming I was going through on the inside was starting to manifest itself on the outside.
Scars Remain But You Are Whole
One of the many passages of Scripture I love reading is when Thomas, known as the doubter, wanted to see visible proof that Jesus was risen from the dead. In John 20:25, Thomas states he won’t believe it until he sees the scars in Jesus’ hands and feet, and the wound in His side. Readers, I can tell you that proof of being healed is in having scars. Scars don’t always go away and that’s okay.
My Thot: I can tell you that you know you’re healed when you no longer cry or get upset while telling your story. Your old scars have no hold on you. I know, I am living proof! Scars may be ugly to some, but it’s our body’s natural way of trying to protect us and they are a reminder that we made it through and are healed! Comment below and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE to receive blog updates in your inbox.
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