In November of 2011, I was sitting in my apartment contemplating my broken, hurt, depressed life after, my then spouse, kicked me out of the house. I was dying in every area of my life, even physically. My obesity was spinning out of control. I was burnt out with life, people, ministry, and I felt alone. I never even left the confines of the apartment for that first month. My mother commented that I should at least get out of my apartment and start my car. My response was “What for?!”
I felt like my whole world had fallen apart and there was no reason to go on. Why in the world would I want to leave the safety and comfort of my personal fortress of solitude? I was in a very, very dark place in my life. I was a deadman in a prison of bondage that I had allowed to happen.
Deadman Arising
Months later, I was still brooding. I had no hope, no future, and was not sure where I was going or what I was doing with my life. As I sat on the living room floor, I opened my Bible and tears rolled down my cheeks. I cried, “God help me...I want to live.” That night I had an encounter that changed my life forever. Like Lazarus, I had the deadman pulled out of me, and I was a NEW man never to look back. I finally had hope and a future again. I could feel the bondage dissolving off of me and the process of wholeness taking place. It was not an overnight instant fix, but YES, that night an accelerated journey began. I started becoming whole and not that ole fatman I use to be. I am awake, alive, and want to help others experience that same life-giving, life-transforming power of God that I experienced that night on the floor.
Lazarus Come Out
The story of Lazarus is a great story with transferable principles for everyone’s life.
Lazarus’s family and mourners say things about the lateness of Jesus, but Jesus was not late. He showed up at the perfect time when Lazarus had already been dead four days so that the rising of Lazarus would be so powerful that no one would ever doubt that Jesus is Lord. Even death itself has no power over God. In the same story, people freaked out because Jesus told them to roll the stone away from the grave. This was a huge deal because you don't break the seal on a tomb - the body is already starting to decay and stink by the fourth day.
Again, Jesus was not affected by the people's behavior. All was being done, so that they might know and believe. What is super interesting is that after Jesus shouted,” Lazarus come out!” He then told the people to go down, unbind him, and let him go. When I read this account in John 11, I identify with the whole story especially the “unbind him and let him go.” For me this phrase has been the process of becoming who I am today.
My Thot: I would love to tell you that since that encounter with the power of God on January 5, 2012, I have been perfect in every aspect of my journey. But the truth is it has been a long, yet accelerated, process of laying down old habits and creating new ones. I am learning I can’t do this on my own, and I need His help daily. It’s not about what I want anymore, but what He wants for me. He has given me my life back, a new life, a real life, a TRUE LIFE. None of the past “old life” stuff either, but all NEW. Daily I am becoming a trophy of His amazing grace. I know firsthand that He can and is willing to help you, too. All you have to do is call out to Him, and let Him begin to change you from the inside out. Comment below if this has helped you.
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